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As your daughter gets off the bus, you notice her flushed face and her eyes are filled with tears. You ask what’s wrong, and the words come flooding out. “Julia said she won’t play with me at recess anymore. I don’t understand why she’s mad. I was just telling her the right way to play!”
Kids like this may be strident and pushy about how they think things should be done. But they don't always realize how their words are affecting others around them. They don’t realize how other people view their behavior.
To help, we can talk about some different ways to think before you speak and the impact your words can have on others.
HANDS-ON ACTIVITIES
Here are two hands-on activities you can use to talk to children about the impact of their words on others:
Tube of Toothpaste Activity
This is a podcast I recorded about using a simple tube of toothpaste to show how words have an impact - once you squeeze it out, you can’t take it back :-)
Cotton vs. Sandpaper Words
A visual and tactile lesson to help children learn about the impact of their words
VIDEOS
Using videos can be a great way to show children how harsh words can be and how others react to hearing such mean and bossy language. You can use any TV show or movie that you are watching with your kids to address this, but I’ve found these quick clips for your convenience
Ms. Bossy
Ms. Bossy tells people how to draw and create art. That’s SO not fun.
My Little Pony
Here’s a clip where quiet Fluttershy becomes overbearing and bossy. You’ve got to find a happy medium between being too passive and being mean and rude to your friends.
BOOKS
The Recess Queen
Recess isn’t so fun if someone is bossing you around. But what happens when one brave souls stands up and says no?
Have You Filled a Bucket Today?
A great book about how your words can fill or empty someone’s imaginary bucket. This book can even be integrated into a whole positive behavior system in a classroom or a whole school. Such a great read!
Chrysanthemum
My favorite lesson to use with children is the Chrysanthemum Lesson. It’s simple yet visually it makes a big impact.
A few weeks later, your daughter gets off the bus smiling from ear to ear and says “I had a great time at recess today. Julia kept playing with me the whole time!”
